Well, dance fans, I don't know about you, but I'm officially angry. What an aggravating, disappointing result this week. Fortunately for the dancers, a scheduling snafu pushes the double elimination to next week, but I am not at all happy about who goes home tonight. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's look at the dancing first.
We're treated to a fun "spray-tanned tour through time," as Tom Bergeron introduces it, as the troupe and competitors show us dances from different eras-though it's not always clear, for example, how the 1950s jive differs from the '60s jive. Still, the dances are entertaining and the choreographers have fun with their assigned eras. The competitors also dance double duty, with a second routine in the Dance-Off challenge.
Here's my Top 5 Dances:
Riker & Allison's 1920s Style Quickstep: Wowee! Talk about knocking it out of the park. Riker and Allison's baseball themed quickstep-to a jazzy version of Jason Derulo's ridiculous song "Wiggle" (which I like much better this way than the original)-is awesome, long, and full of amazing content, though I confess to being marginally disappointed that it had nothing to do with Damn Yankees. There is not just quickstep, but Charleston, lindy hop, and even tap in this number. I agree with Julianne that the height difference between them might be causing some issues, because I want Riker to pull up and straighten his knees a little more. But they're pretty flawless, and having a great time. I also agree with Bruno about him lifting his chin too much, and I'll add that he's got a little guppy mouth. It's very cute, but he wants to keep an eye on it. Riker hopes for a 10 from Len, the first of the season, and Len loves the routine, but does it mean the coveted 10? Yes. Yes it does. Score: 37
Chris & Witney's 1940s-Style Fox-Trot: This dance is actually quite lovely. Witney's description of the routine in the package nauseates me a little (not to mention Chris's "mediocre white man" comment about his vast, 6-week-old dance training-I know, he's only joking; I look forward to your comments), but the dance itself is very nice. Chris definitely has improved, and in fact, I think this is his best dance all season. I'm even being kind and putting him into my Top 5. He still needs to watch his posture, and fox-trot is a good style for him, but the steps are clean and smooth, and full of energy and style. I don't think the additional dancers are necessary, though they do punch up the sweet ending slightly. Score: 31 (tied for last)
Noah & Sharna's 1970s-Inspired Jazz: How much fun is this? Carrie Ann's reaction says it all. She clearly loves it, and so do I. It's a great routine: fun, entertaining, terrific choreography, lots of swagger, and Noah does the movements really well, even though he's not the best actor. It's a big challenge for him to act, and he certainly doesn't have quite the dynamism or larger than life, see it from the back row charisma that the other dancers have, but he's also not a dancer or an actor, he's a soldier. I also agree with Len that the dances are getting to be like group numbers, and most of the time the additional dancers are unnecessary (like in Chris's routine), but Sharna really uses the supporting dancers in a creative way. Sharna's quickly becoming one of my favorite pros, with or without that awesome wig. Score: 36
Robert & Kym's 1980s-Style Argentine Tango: This is pretty unexpected, mostly because of the music, but I love it. I dig that DWTS now creates their own funky covers of popular songs; not just choosing a song that could work as a tango, but making a song into a tango. If Moulin Rouge! can do it with "Roxanne," then why not "Word Up?" I do love my argentine tango, as I've said before, and this is a very fun routine (I especially love the staccato ganchos on the w.o.r.d. part), but it could be a little smoother. There are a lot of complicated lifts, and not all of them are completely clean. I agree with Carrie Ann that Robert almost seems distracted by Kym's womanliness ("the tango equivalent of SQUIRREL!," as Tom puts it)-and I for one am really tired of the sexy relationship stuff between them. It's a little icky and a bit much. Though when Julianne suggested Kym was a little bit "Princess by day..." I thought, "what, Ogre by night?" Score: 31 (tied for last)
The Rest:
Rumer & Val's 1960s-Style Jive: I have to say, I'm very distracted during this. During the package, I keep thinking about how much younger Papa Bruce's wife is than he, and how much she looks like Rumer. For a minute I thought she was her sister. During the dance, I'm distracted by the music, Meghan Trainor's "Dear Future Husband," which stands on its own. The dance is cute, but I agree with Carrie Ann that it feels a little safe-though I assume that's because of Rumer's injury. That was very dramatic, but a neck injury is nothing to joke about. They also don't tell us how she's feeling now. I wonder if they're trying to avoid it, because Erin mentions it, but specifically doesn't ask. I do, absolutely, appreciate Rumer's reminding the audience that dancers are also professional athletes, even though their job is to make it look easy. Score: 35
Willow & Mark's Futuristic Jazz: What in the world are they wearing? Willow and Mark's "ninjazz" routine, I admit, is not as enjoyable as I hope. I love their take on Japanese kung fu movies in the package, complete with bad dubbing, but somehow the routine feels a little static, and limited by the stiff, straight-armed movements. Mark is still very creative and takes some interesting risks, but the costumes prevent more of Willow's charming personality from shining through. I love hearing Carrie Ann speak Japanese though, and six-year-old Mark is adorable. Score: 37
The Dance-Off Round:
Riker & Allison and Willow & Mark are the first to face off in the dance-off round, to a hot salsa. Both teams are tight and clean, though the latter take perhaps a more classic route. Willow is wonderful, and disturbingly sexy considering she's 14, but she's not the powerhouse that Allison is, of course, and Riker matches his partner well. I agree with the Twitter audience, that Riker and Allison do slightly better, but the judges vote unanimously for Willow & Mark.
Noah & Sharna face off against Robert & Kym in a cha-cha, and it's a very tough decision for the judges. Both dances are rough and awkward, sorry to say, with Robert and Kym having more content, but also more mistakes. After wracking their brains for a short while, the judges are split and the two teams tied, so Len's vote makes the decision, awarding Noah & Sharna the two points.
While I find Len's comment a little harsh, perhaps it's true: if Chris didn't have bad luck, he'd have no luck at all. It is sort of bad luck that he and Witney go up against Rumer & Val in the fox-trot face-off, but there are three excellent competitors and three weaker competitors. It's bound to happen this way. He's probably lucky that he gets to do fox-trot, which is a good dance for him. Of course, Rumer & Val's stunning fox-trot (which I like better than their jive) is the clear, unanimous winner.
It's time for the results, and they are nerve-wracking. One by one, Tom and Erin reveal the couples, and they keep calling out the weaker dancers as safe! Noah and Sharna are safe and that's not too surprising, but Robert and Kym, and then Chris and Witney? What's happening here? By now, I'm extremely nervous that my fave Riker is in trouble. Fortunately, he's fine, but that means it's either Rumer (unlikely) or Willow. Sure enough, it's Willow, and she's clearly devastated. The poor girl. She definitely does not deserve to go home now. The other dancers and the judges are all shocked, and awesome Tom takes off his host hat and just acts like a father, giving Willow a big bear hug. I'm too angry to be shocked; I'm downright ticked.
So what about you, dance fans? Are you as angry as I that Willow is eliminated? Which are your favorite dances? Are you excited about Tuesday night's big 10th anniversary blowout?
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