Piers Morgan Trolls Fans With Scathing 'Star Wars Sucks' Rant

The Dark Side is taking over the Internet, feeding trolls like Piers Morgan, who wrote a grumpy old man/get off my lawn anti-"Star Wars" rant for the Daily Mail Online after the "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" trailer dropped. The post is focused not only on his confusion about the popularity of the franchise but his insistence that no one really likes "Star Wars" that much, we're all just falling for the hype -- except for him! He's smart enough to see past the PR machine, unlike the rest of us. [Insert eye roll]

Here's an excerpt from his smug, hipster-esque boast about being so un-hip:

I'm 50 years old and I've not watched a single one of the six Star Wars movies.

Don't get me wrong, I've tried.

Many times.

But I've never got further than five minutes with any of them before hitting the STOP button, shaking the cascading cheese out of my TV set and going for a recuperative neck massage.

As the decades have passed by, my distaste for all things Star Wars has developed into an oddly visceral loathing.

I only have to hear that dreaded theme music to feel the skin begin to peel itself off my flesh.

[...]

This, I realise, parks me firmly in the minority.

Online ticket sales of this 7th Star Wars epic crashed huge movie-goer websites...

It's probably going to be a massive hit, regardless of what I think.

But, as with that pseudo-intellectual load of old thespian codswallop, Birdman, that doesn't mean I'm wrong.

Star Wars sucks.

[...]

Let's be honest here: did anyone watch that Star Wars trailer last night and genuinely think it was fantastic?

Or were you all just caught up in a very clever, very cynical piece of marketing brilliance by Disney?

One based on the old Tinsel Town maxim of: 'If it worked 40 years ago, let's just repackage it, pretend it's brand new, and do it all over again.'

I, peering through my dispassionate, uncontaminated eyes, laughed out loud during the trailer and not for any good reasons.

The only Force it reawakened in me is one of even firmer resolution not to go and see this latest diabolical affront to my sophisticated celluloid senses.

You can stick this over-rated, over-hyped, fantastically silly nonsense up your R2-D2."

The post has more than 1,200 comments at this point, with some fans agreeing with him and others using his own words against him. As one wrote, "Ironically, 'overrated' 'Overhyped' and 'sucked' were all words critics used to describe Piers CNN show."

It seems pretty clear (that he's a stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf herder) that Piers was only trolling for attention, and we never should've indulged him, since who really cares what he thinks anyway. So sorry about that. It also reinforces the sad reality that Professional Troll is a popular lifestyle choice in 2015. They never warned us about that in "Back to the Future II."

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