Surprising Website Phoenix: 6 Childhood Toys That Will (Probably) Be Movies Someday

Friday, October 21, 2016

6 Childhood Toys That Will (Probably) Be Movies Someday

Forget books, fairy tales, or plays. Hollywood's adaptation inspiration seems to be coming straight from the toy chest.

"Trolls" and "Ouija: Origin of Evil" are just two recent movies based on our favorite playthings of the past; there are more than few existing examples of toys being made into movies (for better or for worse), and we can only imagine that even more are being produced as you're reading this.

We already predicted days of the year that will (probably) be movies on day, but what about the beloved games and dolls from our childhoods? Here are six movie ideas based on some of the most memorable toys of our youth.

We'll be waiting for your call, Hollywood.

1. Easy Bake Oven An Easy Bake Oven sits on display in the Hasbro showroom dur
Picture this: A novice home chef played by Hailee Steinfeld gets a cooking show deal after her Easy Bake Oven YouTube recipes go viral. What the world doesn't know is ... her magical oven has an (adorable) mind of its own. Catherine Zeta-Jones plays the evil network exec / failed chef who gets wind of the oven's sorcery and attempts to steal its power, along with all of its recipes. Ina Garten voices one of the spoons.

Tagline: Bake it easy ... this Christmas.

2. Kid Sister / My Buddy Unfortunately, we still haven't forgotten the catchy little jingle for '80s sensations Kid Sister and My Buddy, the stuffed friends who would hang out with you because, um, they weren't actually human and had no choice. We could totally see this as a gritty indie comedy: Kid Sister and My Buddy, all grown up and dealing with the harsh realities of the real world. My Buddy, or Buddy, played by Jason Schwartzman and Kid Sister, Sissy, played by Sarah Paulson, live in LA, go in and out of rehab, still clinging to their glory days as celebrities of Reagan-era yesteryear. They team up to start a Kid Sister/My Buddy "reunion tour" and meet people across America who loved them as kids. They then start to turn their lives around, even though stuff gets really weird and surreal in between. At one point, they dance in an abandoned parking lot to a slowed-down techno version of their respective theme songs. Honestly, we would watch this one.

Tagline: Stop kidding yourself.

3. PerfectionThe pitch for this high-stakes thriller would be "Speed" meets "Jumanji" meets "Tron." In a post-apocalyptic future, a young prodigy (Jaden Smith) is tasked with saving mankind from our enemy planet by completing a mind-boggling city-sized puzzle (basically a large Perfection board) before it combusts. Lily-Rose Depp is the young, newly crowned queen of the villainous Planet Perfecta, and Rachel Weisz is the ailing mother and formerly beloved leader she is trying to impress. Expect lots of laser beams. Christopher Nolan will be asked to direct, but he will most likely decline.

Tagline: He's putting the pieces together ... for peace.

4. Wooly Willy
Magnetic facial-hair wand toy Wooly Willy has been around since the '50s, but this story clearly must take place in modern-day Brooklyn because, why not? Kevin James is Willy Wooly (see what I did there?), a down-on-his-luck barber who can't catch a break ... or a date! After saving a mysterious woman from falling into a manhole, she gives him her wand, and he figures out he has the ability to transform his facial hair into incredibly realistic disguises. At first, he uses the wand for all sorts of antics, like pretending to be famous to score hot ladies, when really he should have been using it to do all sorts of good. Eventually he does, and ends up with his unassuming podiatrist, Eva Longoria, because movies.

Tagline: It's one hairy situation.

5. Baby Alive / Baby All GoneIn this twisted horror flick, a couple, who has been trying to conceive, buys a Baby All Gone for their neighbor's kid but realize the doll has transformed into a real, live baby, so they decide to keep it without telling anyone. The campy throwback, directed by The Duffer Brothers, will be filled with spot-on '90s goodness and all the horror movie references you can count. Something sinister is going on with those cherries, so watch out, kiddos. Cue the creepy nursery songs. That's one freaky infant.

Tagline: It won't stop until they're ... all gone.

6. Polly PocketEverything seems pretty peachy for Polly Pocket -- she's got a sweet job as a fashion and lifestyle blogger, a cool dream house with lots of layers, roller-skates, waterskis, and tons of friends. But she's perpetually single, which is NOT acceptable. Watch Polly (Kristen Bell) as she navigates the contemporary dating world (there are so many Tinder jokes) in this cheery, self-aware rom-com. Her love interest (Anthony Mackie) will be a publishing associate whose company is interested in buying her blog, tasked with (secretly) digging deep into her personal life. The only way to do that? Date her! But they totally fall in love and she finds out why he really asked her out in the first place and it's a huge conflict. Sort of.

Tagline: Love's a game. Just keep playing!