Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Watch Amy Schumer 'Defend' Bill Cosby Against Rape Charges in Bold Sketch

In case you missed it, Bill Cosby was officially tried in the "Court of Public Opinion" last night in another sharp, clever sketch from "Inside Amy Schumer." Amy served as Cosby's attorney, basing his rape defense around all the warm and fuzzies projected by "The Cosby Show." Her opening statement was the show's theme song, to get the jury in a happy place.

Amy: "All these women. Same story. Same facts. Repetitive. And how'd that feel to listen to? Blech, right? How do you feel when I play this?"

She played a clip from "The Cosby Show" and everyone -- including Amy -- laughed.

Amy: "Did anyone feel raped by that? How 'bout drugged? Me neither. I felt comforted by a familiar father figure. Nostalgia. Happiness. Laughter. Not guilty! Let's break this down logically. I am a good person. I like this good show. Last time I checked, good plus good did not equal guilty."

Irrefutable evidence! The jury and judge were won over by Pudding Pops, sweaters, chocolate cake, and the knowledge that -- if Bill Cosby is convicted in the court of public opinion -- the stakes are high. "The next time you put on a rerun of 'The Cosby Show,' you might wince a little, you might feel a little pang. And none of us deserve that! We don't deserve to feel that pang. We deserve to dance like no one's watching, and watch like no one's raping." Solid arguments! Obviously he' s not guilty because it would make us feel bad if he were.

Go ahead and watch (like no one's raping):


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