Gervais opened his bit by calling the crowd "disgusting, pill popping, sexual deviant scum," and said that after he insulted everyone, he planned on going into hiding somewhere where "not even Sean Penn will find me." (He also called the actor, who just published an interview with notorious Mexican drug kingpin El Chapo, a "snitch.") He may need that hideaway, too, as his jabs got uglier from there.
Next on his hit-list was Caitlyn Jenner, who he praised for her courage and trailblazing -- though "she didn't do a lot for women drivers." (That sharp intake of air you heard was the entire Beverly Hilton Hotel ballroom gasping at the audacity of making fun of Jenner's brush with the law over that fatal Malibu crash last year.)
He later segued into another daring quip about child rapist Roman Polanski dubbing "Spotlight" "the best date movie ever."
There were the usual jokes about the Hollywood Foreign Press Association (which famously got Gervais trouble with the organization before), including zingers about the HFPA getting paid off for nominating certain actors, and only honoring big stars so they'd show up (with a special shout-out to Best Actor in a Comedy nominee Matt Damon). Gervais also offered his commentary on Jennifer Lawrence's wage gap essay, telling the crowd that he got paid the same as last year's hosts Amy Poehler and Tina Fey combined, and that studios were cashing in on the all-female reboot trend because they "don't have to spend too much money on the cast."
Things wrapped up with Ricky ruminating on the meaning of awards in general (spoiler alert: they're "worthless"), and revealing that he uses one of his own Golden Globes as a sex toy. "And they asked me to host -- four times!" Gervais exclaimed.
Indeed, Ricky. Indeed. Check out the carnage for yourself below.
Photo credit: Getty Images
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