Wednesday, April 27, 2016

6 Days of the Year That Will Probably Be Movies Soon

We've seen "Valentine's Day" and "New Year's Eve," and now we prepare to welcome Garry Marshall's latest rom-com "Mother's Day," which hits theaters April 29th.

We eat these delightful star-studded ensemble films up like buttered popcorn, and chances are we probably haven't seen the last of these holiday-themed love stories on the big screen. What other days-of-the-year movies can we expect in the future? Here are our pitches for 6 "holiday" flicks that we could see being produced. And we'd totally watch them, by the way.

Your move, Hollywood. We'll be waiting for your call.

1. "April Fool's Day"
Synopsis: Ashton Kutcher acts as the chorus of this fable, in the super-meta role of the host of a formerly popular celebrity pranking show called "Burned" (a la "Punked.") In order to revive the near-forgotten series, a live April Fool's extravaganza is planned and will epically "burn" the world's biggest and most scrutinized (supposed diva) pop star, Skylar Costa, in a nasty "Carrie" pig's blood moment when she opens a major awards show that definitely doesn't exist in real life. She will be played by Selena Gomez. Dev Patel portrays a PA setting up the whole thing who obviously falls hard for Skylar when he sees the real her behind-the-scenes, including one sequence where he follows her to a family homeless shelter, where she goes to on her free time to volunteer "because it's the only place she can be away from the cameras and be herself." He spends the entire day trying to stop the prank. Will he? For sure! And they'll kiss. Billy Eichner plays Skylar's annoyed assistant. Taylor Swift's entire squad makes a brief cameo for no reason.

Tagline: Everybody plays the fool...this April.


2. "National Grilled Cheese Day"
Synopsis: Patrick Wilson and Taraji P. Henson play rival food truck owning chefs who came up together in the same Michelin starred restaurant once upon a time. They find themselves competing at the Annual Grilled Cheese Invitational (on April 12th, National Grilled Cheese Day, duh) and sexual-tension-turned-true-love ensues. See, Taraji's cooking technique is fancy and stuff, so her truffle-infused eppoisses on artisanal dark rye is sure to impress! But is she any match for old school Patrick's classic style American with secret ingredient (cut up hot dogs) in it? Doesn't matter, because they fall hard by the end of the day and Jacob Tremblay plays a precocious culinary wunderkind who ends up beating them both. Demi Moore plays his mom, who tries to distract Wilson with her hotness and make Taraji jealous when she gets wind of their flirty situation. She ends up with Vince Vaughn, who plays a Guy Fieri-esque celeb chef who's hosting the whole contest.

Tagline: The cheesiest love story ever told.


3. "Super Tuesday"
Synopsis: Imagine this: Kevin Hart, Ellen Barkin, and Pierce Brosnan are all vying for the presidential candidacy on a sweltering March day in Texas. Anna Kendrick plays the Hart's driven junior campaign manager and Topher Grace is Ellen Barkin's. Clearly they will bicker the entire day until they realize they have major hots for each other. Wilmer Valderrama plays Brosnan's assistant, and he and Ellie Kemper (his social media manager) spend the day trying to undo the damage from an embarrassing accidental Snapchat in the B-story of this jumbled fairytale. Lance Bass plays a wise caterer.

Tagline: All's fair in love and politics.


4. "Super Bowl Sunday"
Synopsis: Margot Robbie is an up-and-coming TV journalist determined to prove herself in the cutthroat world of sports reporting! Her jerk producer, played by Colin Hanks, says her promotion from strictly sidelines to main panelist on the famed sports debate show "Shot Callers" is continent on an interview with a notoriously private quarterback Mac "The Mack" Dobson, who is projected to be the game's MVP. He's played by The Rock, whose name is featured prominently on the poster but is really only in the movie for 2 minutes. She spends the game tracking him in tandem with seemingly-sleazy-but-actually-sweet James Marsden, an agent who is trying to sign "The Mack" to a huge endorsement deal. Bella Thorne plays a cheerleader who comes off confidently on the field, but is actually super shy and needs Margot's help to talk to a cute camera man, played by her real-life BF Gregg Sulkin. Everything works out obviously and Katy Perry and the left shark make a cameo and she makes out with Colin Hanks in the final scene because movies.

Tagline: The players aren't the only ones who'll score.

5. "Cyber Monday"
Synopsis: Sofia Vergara is the fashionable CEO of a failing flash sale site that's about to bought by a major online retailer, which is run by Simon Baker. In a last ditch effort to maintain ownership, Sofia uses "groundbreaking" new marketing tactics (um, there's a flash mob at one point...) to show her new bosses who's, well, boss. The pressure builds when he shadows her for 24 hours, critiquing her on all the business's shortcomings along the way. He'll eat his words when they realize it was the most financially successful Cyber Monday in website history! She blows up at him for all his cocky antics in the end but they've already gone past of the point of no return and will probably get married in like three months. Lucy Hale plays a PR assistant who ends up falling for an up-and-coming jewelry designer featured on the site, played by America Ferrera. Ian Somerhalder is a hunky IT guy who uses a lot of bad sexual innuendo unknowingly when he fixes everyone's computers.

Tagline: Do you believe in love at first byte?


6. "That Night Before Thanksgiving When You Stay in Your Childhood Home and Go Out With High School People"
Synopsis: Mandy Moore and Amanda Seyfried are sisters who return home to stay with their newly single mom, Sigourney Weaver, for the Thanksgiving holiday. Seyfried is a former high school "Mean Girl" (get it?) who pens a wildly influential lifestyle blog. Mandy Moore is the overlooked sis in this scenario, a "nerdy" reader who is trying to write the next great American novel while working in book store. They decide to go out to their old local hang (Moore's never been because she's huge loser) and meet up with Josh Duhamel, Seyfried's former high school basketball star ex, now the town's middle school guidance counselor. Moore always thought he was "just a jock" but over the course of the night they hit it off and discover what they were missing back in the day. Blake Griffin plays Duhamel's goofy pal who used to be the school's dorky mascot, but is now an actual NBA player following a growth spurt. He and Seyfried get together after she breaks down and reveals she pays college students to write her blog. Sigourney ends up at the same bar on an online date (awkward!) with a wealthy businessman (played by Sting), but he ends up being a total douche and she hits it off with a hilarious and humble bartender played by Tony Shalhoub. They all have Thanksgiving together the next day!

Tagline: Home is where the (sweet)heart is.




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