Monday, November 20, 2017

12 Things You Won't Believe 'Justice League' Got Away With

HUGE SPOILERS AHEAD: Do not read if you have not seen "Justice League" yet.
Hard truth time, guys: "Justice League" has a lot of plot holes and even more problematic storytelling decisions.
That's pretty much par for the course with the DC Extended Universe at this point. From wacky Mother Box shenanigans to pretty much everything involving Aquaman, here are the biggest WTF moments we can't believe this big-budget superhero epic managed to get away with.
1. Why Would the Amazon Warriors Wear Leather Armor Bikini Things?A lot of Wonder Woman fans have pointed out an obvious disparity between "Wonder Woman" and "Justice League." In the first movie, the Amazons wear rugged, battle-ready armor. In the big flashback battle in "Justice League," their armor is quite a bit skimpier and more revealing.
It's not like technology has changed on Themyscira in that time. The only thing that has changed between the two movies is the addition of male gaze.
2. Why Resurrect Superman to Fight a Threat More Powerful Than the Thing That Killed Him?
It's a little bizarre that the crux of Batman's plan in the movie involved resurrecting Superman to help the team fight Steppenwolf, especially when Superman wasn't strong enough to stop Doomsday in "BvS" without sacrificing himself in the process.
Why did Batman think one more hero would magically turn the tide? We're starting to think he's not the master strategist we've been led to believe.
3. Why Introduce Aquaman if Water Has Nothing to Do With the Story or Final Fight?
Aquaman in this movie is basically a super powered '90s Dan Cortese, but with a strong does of Lorenzo Llamas in "Renegade."
There's a lot we don't understand about Aquaman's role in the movie, including why he claims to be a young man despite being included in that clearly ancient mural of him saving the fishing village. Obviously, there's a lot of Aquaman-related material that was cut from the final film. But at some point, you have to wonder why DC was so eager to introduce him now when his powers were so irrelevant to the plot? Why Aquaman and not Martian Manhunter or Green Lantern?

4. Why Does Batman Let That Thug Go That He Used for Bait in the Opening Scene?
This opening sequence is so, so clunky in terms of editing and camera angles. And here, we get the impression that the DCEU version of Batman isn't a guy who sweats the finer details of his job. Why else would he go through all the trouble of using that robber/thief as bait for a Parademon and then just let the guy flee?

Maybe the reason Gotham City is still a hellhole after two decades is that Batman can't be bothered to actually round up the criminals he catches and bring them into GCPD custody. Oh, and did you like how this thief came to the conclusion that the parademon Batman captured was a "scout" for an army of aliens from outer space? Like, that was the first thing he came up with?! On his own?!

Also, if Steppenwolf's weird, Watto-looking henchmen are all over the world, as Batman claims at one point, then why isn't the world's news or government agencies covering or policing them, respectively? Why does Jim Gordon only have a child's sketch of the space beasties to work with? There would be pictures or YouTube vids everywhere of these things.

5. Why Does the Final Battle Waste Batman by Having Fire a Ray Gun?
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Batman is a useful guy to have around in a number of sticky situations, but an alien invasion isn't necessarily one of them.
As we saw, Batman's lack of powers made it difficult for him to take on even one Parademon, much less an army of them. But rather than find some way of allowing Batman's intelligence and resources to win the day, the movie reduced him to doing the one thing he's NEVER supposed to do -- fire a gun at his enemies.
6. Why Does This World Mourn the Loss of Superman as a Beacon of Hope?
We get it. The entire world is in mourning because they lost their brightest beacon of hope. But honestly, we're not sure why anyone in the DCEU has reason to mourn the loss of this version of Superman.
What exactly did he do in "Man of Steel" or "Batman v Superman" that would have earned such an outpouring of love and respect? He helped wipe half of Metropolis off the map, couldn't save an entire government courthouse from blowing up, and generally spent the entire time he was in costume moping and being miserable.
7. Why Does Superman Hulk Out on the Justice League When He First Comes Back to Life?
Granted, it's not like the DCEU filmmakers have established any clear rules when it comes to resurrection, but was there really a need for Superman to go on a murderous rampage as soon as he woke up?
If this guy is truly as kind and hopeful as the movie claims, wouldn't he have a little more control of his actions than that? And wouldn't he, you know, remember who Wonder Woman was? Wouldn't he remember that he is a big fan of truth, justice and NOT MURDERING PEOPLE?!
8. Why Does Superman's Face Look so Bad?
WB infamously had to pay millions to digitally remove actor Henry Cavill's mustache during re-shoots. (The actor had a lip broom due to his work on the in-production "Mission: Impossible 6" that Paramount would not let him shave to help accommodate the "JL" reshoots.)
But when the results look this uncanny valley-y, at some point you have to question why they even bothered. Is a mustachioed Superman really worse than one whose face constantly looks like the villain from "Shrek" meets Bruce Campbell's chin?
9. Did The Filmmakers Not See 'Wonder Woman'?
Batman had some pretty unkind things to say about Wonder Woman in this movie, accusing her of hiding from the world and failing to inspire others. Except, we see early on that she's spending her free time stopping terrorists and generally saving lives across Europe. And this summer's "Wonder Woman" established that she's been quietly but steadfastly saving the world ever since WWI. Excuse her if she prefers not to be a showboat about it, Bruce.
10. So The Justice League Is Totally Cool With Leaving the Last of the Planet-Destroying Mother Boxes Unguarded, Atop of a Car, in a Parking Lot?
The Justice League knew that they were stuck in a race against time to track down the Mother Boxes and stop Steppenwolf from ushering in another generic, CG-fueled superhero showdown. So why did it not occur to anyone on the team that maybe they should keep an eye on their lone Mother Box, rather than leave it sitting on the hood of a car, just waiting to be stolen away?
Honestly, they probably deserved to lose that final battle.
11. What the Heck Is Up With the Mother Boxes?
Honestly, we could write a book about the number of Mother Box-related plot holes in this movie.
Why did they wait so long to activate? Sure, Steppenwolf explained that they waited until Superman was gone, but what about the thousands of years before Superman's arrival, when Earth had no superhuman protectors? And why were all the Mother Boxes hidden on Earth, rather than scattered across the universe?
And if the Mother Boxes didn't activate until Superman's death, how was Dr. Stone able to use one to save his son, Cyborg, and allow for that cameo in "Batman v Superman"?
12. Why Tease the Legion of Doom for 'Justice League 2' and Not, You Know, Darkseid?
The post-credits scene showed us the return of Lex Luthor and the DCEU debut of Deathstroke. But why focus on those villains and behave as if Deathstroke has been at all relevant to the DCEU before now?
Why not tease the debut of Darkseid, who's clearly the real threat pulling the strings on Steppenwolf? Back when WB envisioned "Justice League" as a two-part film, we imagine Darkseid was next in line. But at this point, who knows when or if we'll see the DCEU pick up that loose thread?


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