Sunday, October 26, 2014

Revenge Season 4, Episode 5 Recap: Game of Thrones

Much like a zombie, David Clarke has made his triumphant return from the dead, and is finally ready to reunite with his family. The problem? This bearded grifter has no idea that his daughter Emily Thorne (aka The Artist Formerly Known as Amanda Clarke) is alive and well! So, did Emily and David finally reunite during this week's episode of "Revenge," or did Emily spend the entire episode side-eyeing, death-glaring, and looking otherwise unhinged? Read our recap to find out! Oh, and in case you're wondering, no, David does not shave his beard, despite our collective prayers. There's only so much more we can take.


Father of Mine, Where Have You Been (You're Welcome For That Everclear Reference!)

Now that David Clarke and his questionable facial hair are in the spotlight, Victoria's freshly manicured talons are in deep. These two are all about making the populous think they're a happily reunited couple, but David has other things on his mind. Apparently, he's remembered the fact that he has a daughter (oh yeah, her) and is majorly bummed to find out that Amanda was murdered in a tragic boating accident. Thus begins David's misplaced quest for revenge! After visiting Amanda's grave in Washington DC, David heads back to New York City to get some answers -- but unfortunately there's some random psychopath with a moon tattoo who wants to kill him, and he almost gets run over outside a hotel. Naturally, David is far too manly to accept anyone's help so he decides to wander over to Nolan's mansion for some intel about his daughter, and after a brief reunion Nols manages to drop all kinds of cryptic hints about Em.


Jack Attack

So, what's Jack up to during this episode? You know, other than trying to make us forget his middle-parted hair? This do-gooder is super busy "being a policeman" (read: doing literally nothing), and feeling mopey because David Clarke is kinda-sorta his father-in-law (Facebook status: it's complicated). Even more depressing, Jack gets put in a police time-out because he's being followed by too many reporters, so he decides to spend his time drinking brewskis and putting David out of his mind. Which is slightly hard to do when David comes wandering into his life thanks to Charlotte arranging a get together. In other news, Jack's partner, Ben, decides to snoop around Conrad's murder case because he suspects Jack -- but the case is promptly snatched away from him, so phew.


Sisterhood of the Traveling Parents

Wondering what Emily's up to now that her dad's back in town? Mostly she spends her time attacking an innocent leather punching bag and feeling sorry for herself. You see, despite wanting nothing more than to reveal her true identity to David, a tense hang session with Victoria (orchestrated by Charlotte) has her questioning whether or not her dad will forgive her multiple sins. After all, there's no shortage of blood on her hands! The good news is that Emily realizes she just needs some alone time with David, so she gifts Margaux the deed to her beach house in the hopes that she'll in turn give it to David. Because apparently there's no better place for a father-daughter reunion than the creepy house where your former boyfriend's body lay rotting for several hours (RIP, Aiden)!


Unfortunately, there's a problem: Margaux double crosses Emily, gives the deed to Daniel instead, and then he wanders over to his mom's hotel room to drop it off as a gift to David. As soon as David moves into his old home he's accosted by Margaux's reporters -- who Victoria promptly provides exclusive access to David in exchange for absolving her debt to Margaux. Luckily, Emily realizes that Margaux isn't to be trusted, and decides to wait to tell David her real identity until he's ready. But, uh, considering that David has taken to writing letters to his dead daughter and plotting revenge, we're thinking sooner is better than later.



Page Sex to Page Six

Finally, let's check on Daniel, who seems to have recovered from that one awkward time a prostitute OD'd in this bed. This former poet (sigh, memories!) is finally making a name for himself as Louise's investment advisor, but unfortunately she's completely crazy and wants to have sex with him to get at Victoria. Of course, Daniel's still dating Margaux, so after a night of passion with Louise he breaks things off because...he's kind of a good person now? Who knows, but either way we're terrified. Probably because Louise ends the episode by punching her reflection, smiling like a crazy person, and selling Daniel out to Page Six.


Oh, also this episode ends with Charlotte getting into a car with the man who tried to run David over. So, good times!



Unsolved Mysteries....



- Isn't it kind of cruel of Emily to let her father think she's dead? What exactly is the point?



- Charlotte seems perfectly fine perpetuating Em's lie -- but doesn't she worry David will reject her when he finds out the truth?



- Once David learns of Emily's real identity, will he join Team Revenge or Team Victoria?


- Will Jack be accused of Conrad's murder?


- Who is this guy with the moon tattoo, and why is he trying to kill David?






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