Friday, October 3, 2014

The 4 Movies Adam Sandler Absolutely Should Make for Netflix

adam sandler netflix moviesNews broke this week that Adam Sandler, the clown prince of Hollywood who has seen recent big screen efforts like "Blended" fail terribly at the box office, signed a four-picture deal with Netflix, you know, that thing that steals your entire weekend because you decided it was a good idea to re-watch all of "The X-Files." It was something of a groundbreaking move, considering that Netflix has largely been the home of older films and, more recently, original television programming. This is a big step in whatever grand designs Netflix has, a truly expensive and envelope-pushing endeavor that raises a number of provocative questions.



Perhaps the biggest and loudest question, of course, is: what will the movies be?



We think we have some pretty good ideas, things that would make his collaboration with Netflix as innovative on a creative side as it is on a business one (keep in mind that the exact numbers of this deal have yet to be revealed although it's safe to assume netting Sandler cost "untold millions"). Without further ado, here are the four movies that Adam Sandler absolutely should make for his new Netflix deal.



1. A Return to Glory

There is a small bumper crop of Adam Sandler movies that some, especially giggling 13-year-old-boys at a slumber party, would identify as "classics." These are movies, like "Happy Gilmore" and "The Wedding Singer," which combine his innate sweetness as a performer with some kind of high concept framework and some brittle, frayed edges. These days, Sandler is often too sweet, to the point of blandness ("Blended," "Click," the "Grown Ups" movies) and when he tries to veer into more "adult" territory, at least while in the confines of a traditional "Adam Sandler movie," the results are often overwhelmingly crass and unwatchable (hello, "That's My Boy!") What we're suggesting one of the Netflix movies be is something with edge but that everybody can watch. The last truly great Sandler movie, in our humble estimation, was "You Don't Mess with the Zohan," a movie that tackled the Israel/Palestine conflict with a main character who was a dopey, sex-obsessed hairdresser. That's the kind of thing he should do with one of the new Netflix movies. Less stratospherically high concept ("Bedtime Stories," his recent Toronto entry "The Cobbler") and more grounded. It can have some fantasy there, but the heart and humor have to remain first and foremost.



2. Something Wildly Experimental

Here's the thing about Netflix: it's kind of the wild west, creatively speaking. You can do pretty much anything. A "movie" on Netflix could be a five-minute short or a ten-part epic. There are no rules or regulations. And to that end, it would be nice if Sandler embraced the possibilities of the medium, something that few Netflix original productions have actually bothered to do ("Arrested Development" did this to some degree, but not enough). Sandler can be pretty great when he's really out there, as some of his early "Saturday Night Live" sketches clearly showcase, and we even have the perfect collaborators for this project: Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim, who are the leading mavens of outré (but still commercially viable) comedy. Just watch their recent light bulb commercial with Jeff Goldblum to see what they're capable of. This would be the perfect fit, not only of filmmaker and star, but of filmmaker and format. Wondering what would happen if Tim and Eric and Adam Sandler got their hands on Netflix just makes us giddy with anticipatory glee. The possibilities are endless.



3. Another Paul Thomas Anderson Collaboration

The best that Adam Sandler has ever been was in "Punch-Drunk Love," the oddball romantic comedy from "Boogie Nights" director Paul Thomas Anderson. It was both the most outside of the Adam Sandler persona he has cultivated and, oddly, the "dramatic" project that he was able to maintain more of himself in. (Things like "Reign Over Me" or this month's "Men, Women and Children," cast him so far afield of what has made him so lovable that the performance becomes alienating and obscure.) And quite frankly Paul Thomas Anderson, who has a pension for grandiose statements and rococo visuals, felt freer by staying smaller. There aren't any burning oil fields or raining frogs, just a man with anger problems trying to woo a girl, deal with some duplicitous phone sex operators, and collect coupons on packages of pudding. You know, that old story. Given the seemingly unlimited creative and commercial freedom of this Netflix deal, it would be wise for Sandler to reach out to his past collaborator and get a new joint going. And it's not that far of a stretch in terms of securing PTA; when he was getting ready to do "Punch-Drunk Love" he would guest direct segments of "Saturday Night Live." Think about it.



4. The 'Jack & Jill' Spin-Off We Always Wanted

There is no question that "Jack & Jill" was something of a "career low point," a crass, largely unfunny bore. But it did have a great Al Pacino performance, with the actor playing himself (the movie was oddly meta), who then, in turn, falls in love with Jill (Sandler in drag). What if there was a spin-off movie that continued to follow their romance? And this could just be for the WTF of it all; Sandler taking Netflix's money and making something so off-putting and unnecessary that it becomes a challenge for anyone to ever watch it, even once. Part of their reasoning behind the deal is that people watch Sandler movies over and over again. Not bad reasoning, but something to be put to the test for sure, with something like an epic romantic comedy starring Sandler and Pacino. Maybe it could be set in the past? Does a "Jack & Jill" spin-off really have to follow any conventional rules? Maybe this could be even more experimental than the Tim & Eric thing we proposed. Man, Neftlix, what did you get yourselves into?



What do you think of our ideas? Are they lousy? Brilliant? What would you do with Adam Sandler, Netflix, and countless millions? Let us know!







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